Vimes, you have gone insane," said Rust. "You can’t arrest the commander of an army!"
“Actually, Mr. Vimes, I think we could,” said Carrot. “And the army too. I mean, I don’t see why we can’t. We could charge them with behavior likely to cause a breach of the peace, sir. I mean, that’s what warfare is.”
Vimes’s face split in a maniac grin. “I like it.

Terry Pratchett, Jingo

probably the best exchange ever I seriously can’t with these guys

(via larkiethings)
There are people who’d steal money from people. Fair enough. That was just theft. But there were people who, with one easy word, would steal the humanity from people. That was something else. — Men at Arms by Terry Pratchett (via nerdvanauniverse)

normandys:

ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD 

Oh…

He was definitely a boy with special needs. In the views of the staffroom, these began with an exorcism. — Terry Pratchett, “Thief of Time” (via twin-city-ankh-and-morpork)
Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? — You’ve Got Mail (via cityoflostlightwoods)

(via greatestvoyagehistoryofplastic)

Friendly reminder that anyone born between 1985-1998 didn’t get their hogwarts letter because Voldemort’s ministry wiped out the record of muggleborns

(via elennare)

bartyjoonyah:

theblueboxonbakerstreet:

Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking?

Because it was making him Moody.

image

(via elennare)

unclewhisky:

comedownstairsandsayhello:

tigerhazard:

jamdoughnutmagician:

there is not one search term here that isn’t magical

i know ive reblogged this before at least twice but i decided to read through the entire thing this time and im in pain from how hard i am laughing please forgive me

If I ever stop reblogging this call EMS immediately.

I’m torn between “did a ghost do my taxes,” “are there fraggles in my body,” “who is solar system,” “cant see legs,” and is sarah palan made of crab meat.” Any one of them could be a Chip Zdarsky tweet.

(via elennare)

wildboysandwhiskey:

angelclark:

99-Year-Old Lady Sews A Dress A Day For Children In Need 

Lillian Weber, a 99-year-old good Samaritan from Iowa, has spent the last few years sewing a dress a day for the Little Dresses For Africa charity, a Christian organization that distributes dresses to children in need in Africa and elsewhere.

Weber’s goal is to make 1,000 dresses by the time she turns 100 on May 6th. So far, she’s made more than 840. Though she says she could make two a day, she only makes one – but each single dress she makes per day is personalized with careful stitchwork. She hopes that each little girl who receives her dress can take pride in her new garment.

This is so incredibly precious, this actually makes me tear up with happiness!

(via elennare)